The past week has been really hard for me. Everything seems to be closing in and I feel that my performance in all areas has declined as I continually try to keep up with everything. I have been mentally and physically exhausted for what feels like weeks. This is blatantly apparent in my workouts and in my mood.
I was expecting heavy metal night, but got to do Fight Gone Bad. Ugh. I was not mentally prepared for this. Here’s how my numbers broken down:
You’re gonna hear this a lot during this post. I felt like crap during this entire workout. I did the best I could, but that really wasn’t all that awesome. Maybe next time.
Open gym… Kindel decided that we should do “Murph”. Most aweful WOD ever. It is:
- Run 1 Mile
- 100 Pull Ups
- 200 Push Ups
- 300 Squats
- Run 1 Mile
I think, for the sake of time, she told us to not do the pull ups. Everyone ended up doing them anyway but me. I didn’t think that doing 100 pull ups on my almost recovered arm would have been a good idea.
Anyway, I don’t think I have ever mentally quit something so many times before. As soon as she said “Murph” I wanted to leave. I then mentally quit at various times throughout. What really bothered me was that I didn’t do the pull ups and there were people that finished right around the same time that I did. I was sort of depressed about it for the rest of the day. I felt fat, slow, tired, and just done. My time was 56 something.
Dave had us do a 2 for Tuesday deal. WOD #1 was 2 rounds of:
- Row 500m
- 25 Burpees
I didn’t feel like going to begin with. 20 seconds into the first round of rowing I just had no energy. Nothing. I was running on fumes the entire time. I felt like I was going to pass out during burpees. What the hell is wrong with me?! My time was 9:10.
The next WOD was worse. It was 3 rounds of:
- 50 lunges
- 50 sit ups
- 50 back extensions
Ugh. Again, just nothing left. I don’t know where I was pulling from, but I guess I pulled it out from somewhere. My time was 13:47.
I guess overall, I am really unhappy with how I am handling things lately. I feel like everything is getting to me and I don’t have the capacity to deal with it all. I am really hoping that things will start to turn around in a few weeks when I am less stressed and spread so thin. Until then, I will keep doing the best I can even if that’s really not so good.
In the end, this stuff is still just working out. I can’t help but remember what Lance told me one Saturday. He said that it doesn’t matter to your body, heart, muscles, etc your time or how you did compared to anyone else. They don’t get any less of a good workout b/c you came in last. All that matters is that you push and work.
Modified Murph really sucked, but it was still a great workout.