I want this:

I have felt like utter crap this week. Chewed up and spit out. I am not sure if it’s the whole "getting back to class" thing or what, but I have had no energy and have not woken up any day feeling rested and ready for the day. More like, I have woken up feeling like I had been doing calisthenics or something all night. I am achy and tired.

My back finally feels almost better. It has been sore since Tuesday. I can finally bend more than 20 degrees without saying "aaaaaahhhhhhhh". This week I have found myself finding reasons to not go to class. Does my body just need the rest? From what??? This morning I woke up and said, "I think I should not do anything tonight"… but that’s what I did LAST NIGHT! Maybe I will take a nap today and see how I feel after that.

I have been working a lot.

I have been working on a lot of training. Particularly at this moment, I am about 1/2 done with Flex3 training on Lynda.com. I am also trying to find out all I can about Microsoft Dynamics. If you know anything about that, I would love to hear it.

I love my new job.

Last night, I was telling V about some of the cool features of Flex3 and she just told me that it was nice to see me so animated and excited about something. It was then that I told her what I had been feeling since I started this new job. I AM excited about what I am learning. I was never happy after coming home after a day at <previous company>.

Granted, I am working a hell of a lot more than I did at <previous company> but, I love all this stuff and I feel like my employee marketability is coming back. It’s like my brain had been dormant since October of 2004.

Back to Flex3 training… later.

Chicken parm. Yum!

Life these days is really good for me. I have been really happy and things have been going really well.

Last night I started going back to kung fu as I have been sort of flaky lately due to the new job and other events like the trip to Mississippi last weekend.

I got to school early and went through almost every form that I know just to be sure that I still know them =). Turns out I do.

Leopard class was really good. We finally finished the second road and I got an introduction to the 5th section of snake pakua. I love that stuff.

I am now looking at my schedule. I need to readjust is as I need to focus more on my 1st brown belt material for my test in August. I am maybe 1-2 weeks behind. It’s not really a big deal, but I HATE being behind!

Other than kung fu, things with Victoria are awesome. She continue to show me every day what an awesome, caring, thoughtful person she is. I really got lucky with this one and I don’t plan on letting it go.

Ok, I should actually do some work now =).

Bye!

So I was driving this morning and I heard a commercial on the radio:

"High school is hard. Graduating is <pause> harder."

… I don’t remember the rest. I stopped listening after that one sentence. Technically, I didn’t stop listening. Technically, I couldn’t hear the commercial anymore as the words "are you serious?? are you fucking serious?!?!?!" were playing over and over in my head.

High school is… HARD?!?!??! I can think of many things that high school was… "hard" is not one of the words that comes to mind. Basic high school, save AP classes and anything outside of the basic curriculum is not by any means, hard.

Hey fella, I went to high school. I don’t recall it being all that bad. I am about to give you some gems o’ wisdom. Get ready to have you minds blow with my 3 STEP PLAN TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL:

1) Go.

2) Pay attention, somewhat.

3) Graduate.

… there you go. If you go to high school, and sit in the building for 8 hours/day (you DONT even have to go everyday, but shhh) and just kinda watch what the teacher is doing, you have a pretty good fucking chance of passing this particular class.

"What about homework? I don’t want to do homework!"… well kid, I don’t want to pay taxes, but you know what? I don’t want to go to jail. Do you want to go to jail? Then go to fucking school, do you homework and stop whining.

Tell your friends / homies / bloods / crips / gang of any denomination / amigos / crew / posse / girlfriend / boyfriend / <whoever you hang out with> that you will see them in just a little while b/c you have some learnin’ to do. They will call you names, but, when you are making a lot more money than them, you can call them whatever you want from your really nice house. You can even do a drive by insulting as I’m SURE your car, that you can afford b/c you sat in a building for 8 hours a day for 4 years and sorta stared towards the front of the room, can outrun theirs.

I don’t know if I am getting older or if kids are getting worse. Maybe it’s a little bit of both. I find that, these days, the majority kids do not know what it means to struggle for anything, or to achieve anything unless it’s getting to level 65 in some video game. Hey, just so you know, that video game experience, doesn’t ACTUALLY transfer to REAL LIFE experience, retard.

Kid: "Mom, this homework is too hard".

Mom: "Wow, I’m going to go have a word with your teacher tomorrow to get this homework difficulty reduced. How’s that son? Oh, and don’t forget your ritalin!"

How’s about this… why don’t you sit down with your little pile of shame and try to help them? Oh, you can’t remember how to do this stuff? Well guess what, neither does the majority of America, but you know what? School has blessed you with the skill of reading. Put down the beer/crack/heroine/weed/acid/schrooms/X and help this poor thing that you have brought into the world. Make him/her a better person than you were. THEY NEED YOUR HELP.

Still, I am pretty sure that we are fucked….

Damnit OC…

These are 2 videos that you MUST watch. They are a bit long, but well worth the time spent. Wake up, people!

1) Money As Debt – Paul Grignon’s 47-minute animated presentation of "Money as Debt" tells in very simple and effective graphic terms what money is and how it is being created. It is an entertaining way to get the message out. The Cowichan Citizens Coalition and its "Duncan Initiative" received high praise from those who previewed it. I recommend it as a painless but hard-hitting educational tool and encourage the widest distribution and use by all groups concerned with the present unsustainable monetary system in Canada and the United States.

\

2) Zeitgeist (I recommend torrenting this one)- Zeitgeist, produced by Peter Joseph, was created as a nonprofit expression to
inspire people to start looking at the world from a more critical perspective and to understand that
very often things are not what the population at large think they are. The information in Zeitgeist
was established over a year long period of research and the current Source page on
this site lists the basic sources used / referenced and the developing Interactive Transcript includes
exact source references and further information. A Q & A page is also being developed.

We need to talk.

Look, it’s not you, it’s me. Well… maybe it’s somewhat you too.

Things started off really well. You were really popular. Everyone told me that you were the way to go. I believed them. I RELOCATED for you. Do you know how big that is?? I uprooted my ENTIRE life, lost my girlfriend… all for you.

We had some really good times. You let me be myself for a little while and you let me thrive and get a lot of stuff done. I learned a lot of stuff that was really helpful to me within the context of my work with you. I really appreciate that.

You told me you cared about my career. You told me that I was in control. I believed you.

Things started going downhill.

We were together, I would say, oh, about 2 years at the time. I was getting antsy and feeling ready for a change. I let you know about this and you told me that I would have to wait. What? I thought I was in control of my career. Hmmm.. ok, I’ll let that one slide. Former job 1, me 0.

You let me talk to others within about the possibility of working with them. I soon found out that you lied. You LIED to me, former job. I started to see that all of the skills that you had taught me were absolutely WORTHLESS outside your warm and fuzzy context. Nobody cared about what I had learned during my time with you. They would look at my resume and say "great, what else do you know?".

So, I did what I could do, oh, former job. I moved departments within you thinking that things would get a lot better. I could use all of this useless information you had made me acquire over the past 2.5 years and perhaps thrive and grow some more. Things were actually great for the first few weeks. How happy I was to not deal with those retards on the phone all day. "Hi, how do I add numbers with code?"… please go die now. This happiness, however, was short lived.

Again, former job, you were right, and I was wrong. Former job 2, me, 0.

I was optimistic. The management structure seemed awesome. The job seemed like it was engaging and fun. Damnit… again, I was wrong. You 3, me, 0.

You gave me no training whatsoever on this new task. You basically said, "hey, you pretty much know what you’re doing, right? whatever, go for it, I got shit to do…oh, and read this 600 page architectural document from 12 years ago…"

Um… ok, former job, that isn’t cool. I thought we were friends?

As a result of your "non interventionalist" approach to my working for you, I left work almost everyday feeling like a frustrated, moronic, retarded, stoopid. I wanted to put my fist through something every fucking day that I left you. On top of this feeling of frustration and useless that I got all day, everyday, I also had people complaining and bothering me to work on the things that hey had submitted. Sure, I didn’t have enough grief, just pile that on too. I can take it. I’m like a dump truck for annoyances and complaints.

Things started out so great. What has happened?!?!? What has become of us? How did it get to this point, former job?

Well, former job, I will tell you. You are VERY good and giving people the illusion that you care. You are VERY good at making people think that you actually care about their careers and their personal development. I see now, in hindsight, that this is all straight bullshit. That’s right former job, you can’t fool me anymore. My shroud o’ ignornace has been lifted.

When you don’t:

1. let people do what makes them happy…
2. let people move to a new position when they feel it is time (given a reasonable stint in current position)…
3. let people know that what they do is important…
4. let people know that their efforts in working 60 hours a week at times don’t go unnoticed…
5. allow people to learn relevant a pertinent skills to the marketplace…
6. train people on the stuff that is critical to their job yet expect them to continue to produce…

… PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO WANT TO "HANG IN THERE" AND STAY THE COURSE WITH YOU.

You can have the nicest managers, the best benefits, and even unlimited sick days. I LOVED the managers that you gave me, former job. I LOVED the flexibility that you provided me. I LOVED the unlimited sick days that you gave me. In spite of all this…

…I am leaving you.

You will not miss me, I know, and, the feeling is mutual. Just know, that it’s for the best, for both of us.

And by the way your score, no longer matters. Bite me, former job. Me, 9,000,000,000, you nothing.

See you around.