{"id":91,"date":"2008-01-12T21:43:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-13T02:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/?p=91"},"modified":"2008-01-12T21:43:00","modified_gmt":"2008-01-13T02:43:00","slug":"terrified","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/?p=91","title":{"rendered":"Terrified…"},"content":{"rendered":"

So… once again, I find myself at a point in my life where I am absolutely terrified to be social. I knew all day that this would inevitably happen. <\/font><\/p>\n

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I was invited to a co-workers birthday get together at some dive bar near work. I had been planning on going. <\/font><\/p>\n

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I got up late today. There was some power outage last night, so I didn’t sleep well. I basically lounged around, futzed around all day… did nothing. <\/font><\/p>\n

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8pm, I don’t know what to wear. 810… I don’t want to go. 840pm… I am not sad and angry with myself for not wanting to go… fuck… <\/font><\/p>\n

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I already feel angry and I haven’t even left the house yet. I have pretty much already determined that I am going to go there, drink a beer, then leave… which leads me to ask the question, why even fucking go???? <\/font><\/p>\n

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Having not even left the house, I already feel saddened by the fact that I know I will not talk to anyone and exist in a public place all alone in my own head. Now, for the reader that is saying “that is stupid, you are being stupid”, I say, “I KNOW!”. But these are the emotions that come up every time some social even occurs in which I do not know people. I am not sure how to make it stop, wishing doesn’t seem to have any affect… <\/font><\/p>\n

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I do not want to go… I don’t think I can… <\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So… once again, I find myself at a point in my life where I am absolutely terrified to be social. I knew all day that this would inevitably happen.   I was invited to a co-workers birthday get together at some dive bar near work. I had been planning on going.   I got up […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-91","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=91"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=91"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=91"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=91"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}