I sort of give up. <\/p>\n
It’s been 4 weeks of doing Starting Strength + Intervals while paying really close attention to what I am eating. <\/p>\n
I don’t really see much difference. The scale says that I am down about 2-3 pounds depending on the day\/time, but my BF % is still between 18 and 19. <\/p>\n
I have been able to steadily increase the weights on my lifts, so I guess I have made progress there. <\/p>\n
If you are one of my 3 readers or know me, you know that I, historically have a very hard time dropping weight. I can’t even being to describe the amount of jealousy I feel when someone new starts at the gym, goes paleo, works out, and is shredded in a month. It seriously makes me want to put my fist through a wall. I have been at this for YEARS and I can’t even make a freakin’ dent. <\/p>\n
After just years and years and years of struggling with this; after reading all of the information I can get my hands on from blogs, books, articles, etc, you’d think I knew it all. Apparently, I know nothing or at least not enough to make anything really substantial happen. <\/p>\n
If you asked me, I’d say the 2 biggest contributing factors to my lack of weight loss probably are my high levels of stress (which I am trying my hardest to manage) and the difficult sleep pattern that having a small child yields. I wouldn’t be surprised if my cortisol levels were very high. <\/p>\n
Anyway… I say that I “sort of” give up. I am at the point where I pretty much want to say “screw it all”, not work out AT ALL and eat whatever the hell I want. But, I won’t. What I mean by that is, I am done trying to figure out what to do. Whatever I have thought of to do isn’t working for me. Dave has some ideas for me which seemed to work during the last challenge that we did, so I will put my blind trust in that and do whatever he tells me to do for however long I have to do it. <\/p>\n
I will continue to work out because it relieves stress and is a source of enjoyment for me. I think at this point though, I am putting my expectations of results into a nice little box and locking it away. <\/p>\n
I have explained this before, but it’s not worth going into one more time. My motivation isn’t vanity. I don’t care about having the best body, being the strongest, or the fastest. All I want… all I have ever wanted is to be able to go places in the summer that require no shirts and not feel absolutely horrible about it. I haven’t been in a pool in a really long time and I am pretty sure that I actively avoid situations where people will see my body. Who in the hell doesn’t love being in a pool?! Well, it seems, in adult life, your price to get in the pool is either 1) a body that you are mentally proud of, no matter how it looks or 2) a body that looks pretty good even if you don’t think it’s awesome. I have neither of those things going for me. There is no way in HELL that I am going to any function with my CrossFit friends that requires skimpy clothing. I love them all, but I am too self conscious to be there. Sad? Yes. Reality? Yup. <\/p>\n
Really, all I am looking for is a body that I am not totally self conscious about. Will I ever get that? No idea, but for now, I don’t have the energy to care. <\/p>\n
I wish that we didn’t live in a society that put so much stress on physical appearance, and I my logical brain, I am pretty sure that my friends who are really my friends don’t care and wouldn’t say anything to me to make me feel bad about it, but personally, I just can’t do it. <\/p>\n
Maybe some day, some thing will work and I will be able to enjoy being outside or in the gym not completely covered up all of the time. <\/p>\n
I am not holding my breath, though. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I sort of give up. It’s been 4 weeks of doing Starting Strength + Intervals while paying really close attention to what I am eating. I don’t really see much difference. The scale says that I am down about 2-3 pounds depending on the day\/time, but my BF % is still between 18 and 19. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[86,112],"class_list":["post-1452","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-life","tag-ranting"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1452","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1452"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1452\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1452"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1452"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.familyofgoldsteins.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1452"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}